My name is Kasey and I am transgendered. I really don’t know where to begin, so I’ll begin at the beginning, sorta.

I was born a girl, raised as one, but never felt like one. It went beyond playing with swords and wanting boy toys at McDonalds. When Aladdin came out, I wanted to just wear a vest, but my mom wouldn’t let me. I did it while she was gone. As a young kid I wondered why I couldn’t go swimming in shorts or walk around the summer with my shirt off like my friend’s brother. My mom had dreams of white picket fences and the “American Family” for me. I was saddened to a point when I came out to her as a lesbian, basically shattering her dreams. I was 18 when I did that. I was a senior in high school. I thought I’d found the social family I’d always wanted in the lesbian community—but it never felt right. I was back to square one.

I am 22 years old now, almost 23, my birthday is Oct. 24th. At about 19 I realized why the lesbian community never fit me. I wasn’t gay. I wasn’t a girl. I was sheltered as a child so when I realized that I could be something different than the body I was born in, I jumped on the chance. I started doing drag. It felt amazing to be a boy. To be seen as one. It felt great to be introduced as “he” and “him.” I started researching Testosterone and came out to my parents as Trans. I was in a lesbian relationship at the time and it didn’t go over well.

From the latter part of 2005 to the summer of 2008, I was a wreck. I knew who I was and how to start getting there—but I had issues beyond my gender issues. It took me 3 years, but I was finally stable. I was in a stable relationship and was diagnosed properly as bipolar. I was 21 and my life finally seemed like it was going up instead of down. I was a father, husband, and a man in the eyes of my family.

I started Testosterone January 12, 2009. Step 1, CHECK. I’ve been on T for about 9 months now. I am proud to go out again! I went swimming all this summer, using the men’s room, and binding.

Binding… oh binding… It is like super powered spandex mixed with duck tape. It squishes my breasts to where they look like Pecs. I use a packer—a flaccid mock penis to give the appearance of a penis downstairs.

I still have all my female reproductive organs, though luckily no more periods—thank you Testosterone, and my breasts. When I look at myself from the shoulders up—I don’t have many issues with how I look—except for the acne. But if I look down and I’m not binding—which I can’t do all the time due to air restriction and pain from putting so much pressure on my ribs, I hate my body.

I need surgery to make my body the way it is in my head. I need a mastectomy to remove the lumps of fat that sag on my chest—the chest that should be flat.

I am asking for donations because I am on a fixed income. I am disabled. Luckily I do have insurance to cover my doctor visits and my prescriptions, but as the surgery I need is labeled “elective,” my insurance won’t cover it.

I am asking for help because I have no other way of reaching my goal. Thank you for taking time to read this. Through even small donations, you can contribute to making my dreams come true. Help make me my own Self-Made-Man.

Cost breakdown:

   ~ Surgery (including follow up visits for 6 months): $6,360

   ~ Estimated legal costs for Gender/Name change: $340